The Morning After

Last night was our company party. It was held outdoors behind the hotel, and had a baseball theme -- they had hot dogs, bbq and some good raffle prizes. I didn't mingle very much. Sometimes I have fun at these events but last night I wasn't really in the mood I guess. I sat with the women I sit with at lunch sometimes --Cindy, Judy, Cheryl, Diane, Millie, Kate, and a few others who wandered in and out. Cindy and Judy hang out together, and sometimes Cheryl and Kate hang out together. Cheryl is the Operator and knows everyone. Millie works in the mail room. Kate is an admin and is engaged to my old boss's best friend. She's very pretty and an ex-dancer. I also spent some time talking to a young woman from HR who I only met recently. These women are very loud and boisterous at lunch, and last night very much so.
I don't like sitting with them all the time - it's a strange bunch - they really don't have much in common either.

Later I was standing w/ Cheryl, Janet, the other operator, and Kate, and our CEO came over. They know him whereas I do not, and they chit chatted about his kids etc. But then when I left, he came up to the building behind me and we made small talk at the elevator. I'm sure he doesn't know where I work. Being the front desk people, Cheryl and Janet know everyone =-plus they have been here for a long time.

I have not "defined" myself in any way since starting here, nor do I care to. I've never been someone that people know, even in school I did not make my presence known. I wasn't the brilliant math student, or the lead in the musicals, or lead any teams to victory.. And here at work, at 46, I am not an ambitious, aggressive, corporate ladder climber. I just like doing my job and doing it well. I'm not sure I even do it that well.

This morning the guys were all talking about where they went and how much they had to drink etc etc after the party... they tease each other about the women they spoke to, and who was drunk and on and on.. I really am too old for this stuff. I have no interest in hearing how much someone drank or how stupid they acted while they were drunk. Honestly. And of course, my boss, who worked from home today, went out with them as well.

I do feel more connected to this group than when I was at my last job, but it some ways, it's still the same.